I am sure I am not the only one, but it takes me a quite a while to truly understand the games that my children are playing and assess any risks to their safety. This usually includes knowing and assessing the following:
1. Whether the game has online messaging facilities, and if that is simply using preprogrammed chat responses (such as those that can be set on Disney’s Club Penguin) , or free chat.
2. Whether the game allows voice chat.
3. What the level of violence (if any) is in the game.
4.Whether there is any sex or nudity.
5. Whether the game has any educational benefit (which will determine the length of time I let them spend on that game)
There are probably some other factors that don’t spring to mind right away (feel free to add some categories in the comments)
Keeping up to date with all this on every game the kids play is really tiring. It also seems that we are only just getting our heads around Minecraft “spawning” and other topics that come up in the excited conversations of little Minecraft lovers before we are challenged with having to learn a whole new game that, frankly, we are really not THAT interested in. It is so easy to give up and walk away from the pressure. The constant vigilance is exhausting. The fear of failure regarding protecting our kids online is high. And, to be frank, I think I do a pretty good job of it despite my general lack of interest in the games themselves.
This is my story of failure….
First it was the sound of gunfire coming from Master 10 with the Justin Bieber hair-do’s (pictured right) computer. How had we possibly entered the world of first person shooter games without my knowledge? I could feel the years of a toy gun free household slipping away. But heres the deal. Little boys (particularly) are drawn to guns and warfare etc. Even when you don’t give them guns they make them themselves out of sticks and with their fingers. At what point does denying a child exposure to something make them more likely to be attracted to it in the future, for real, in REAL life. So, I checked out the game. or so I had thought and gave it my seal of approval for occasional play.
So imagine my surprise when I heard a grown mans voice coming through the computer one evening.
“Who’s that”? I asked my son, with, no doubt, at least a hint of the stress I was trying to hide showing in my tone.
Without a break in his typing stride Master 10 says “ He’s my team mate, he’s an adult”.
“You can voice chat people on this game?”
“Yeah” (derrrrr)
“Don’t you think that’s a bit creepy playing a kids game with an adult?” I asked him
“um… no” Said Master 10 “ It’s a really great game. Adult’s like to play it too.”
“What does he talk to you about” I asked
“UM… (tap tap tap) just tactics and stuff. He hasn’t asked me for ANY personal details mum (insert eye roll).”
So how did we get here? Just a few months back he was a dedicated Minecraft master who occasionally dipped into games from his youth (sic), he had been playing since age 6 like Club Penguin, Pirate 101 and the like. I was totally in control. I was totally up to date and informed. the tipping point here was being introduced to Steam, which is an online game platform hosting over 3500 games. It offer a community function, you can create your own profile and use chat groups etc as well as in-game chat.
We got into Steam because he wanted to try out a funny glitchy little satire game called “Goat Simulator“, Master 10 has an excellent sense of humour.
However, Steam ended up being a bit of a Pandoras box and now we play 3 or 4 games on there, which just goes to show how easy it is for your child who is obsessed with one or two games can easily increase that number to 4 or more within what feels to an adult like the blink of an eye.
It is true that I’ve raised my computer-loving son with a great education in online privacy, not pulling any punches about creepy people online. But I’ve also played attention to some of the games he is playing and in turn I believe that he, my 10 yr old son, has educated me too and he’s made some pretty ,mature decisions along the way as well.
And what has he taught me?
Mostly he has taught me to trust him. That he has judgment and he has personal standards. If he doesn’t like something he will walk away from it on his own accord, this includes rich language. This trust I have for him, coupled with supervision of course, earns me his honesty. He is not judged, so he has not fear of approaching me when something is wrong or confusing or worrying him.
Key Take-Aways for successful and safe gaming for kids.
1. Choose the games your children are allowed to play depending on the age and maturity of your child.
2. Check whether that game allows voice/chat or limited chat content and whether you can set those limits for your child.
3. If you are comfortable, as I am, with your child speaking to adults whilst playing online games perhaps consider not giving your child a headset, so you can overhear the 2 sides of the conversation.
4. Stay in the loop about which games they are playing. Venues like Steam allow children easy access to try other free games and may push the boundaries of what you find acceptable before you even know they are playing them.
5. Give them the power to make smart decisions by educating and empowering them with trust.
6. Show them what to do in role play type scenarios, especially where being bullied is the topic. handily these skills can applied to an online and offline situation. Empower your child to stand up for themselves and to know when to walk away.
7. By all means set boundaries about which kind of games are acceptable, but earn their trust by communicating with them and showing interest in the gaming platforms they use.
Humbuzz are building product to help keep your children safe online but also conscientiously seek to contribute to parent’s understanding of the way their children access the Internet and how they interact in the cyber realm.
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